Jim Chalmers (Rankin, Australian Labor Party, Shadow Parliamentary Secretary to the Leader of the Opposition) Share this | Hansard source

A man named Brian wrote to me last week. He said, 'The past year has been excruciating for Andrew and me. For me, it evoked memories of being harassed and bullied when I came out in high school in 1993. Vacillating between pride and self-loathing, this was a period when I attempted suicide four times. I felt vulnerable again during the debate, a feeling not felt since I was that 15-year-old. I had to take medical leave from work to manage my anxiety and depression when it became apparent earlier this year that the marriage equality debate was about to intensify. I had to take steps to protect myself mentally. I had to affirm my value and worth. I'm hopeful that when marriage equality is achieved it will satisfy my 15-year-old self and all the young vulnerable people in our community that we are not the rejected, the abnormal, the deplorable, the deviant but are cherished and highly respected equals.' Brian, I'm voting yes this week for you, mate, and for Andrew.

I went to school with Brian in the early to mid-1990s. I'm voting yes because the bullying that he went through at our school, that I'm ashamed of not stopping, does not square with what I took from those 12 years of Catholic education—not just the lifelong friends or the ideas of service and social justice, but, above all, to love thy neighbour, the idea that we treat others as we would be treated. We failed Brian then—I failed him then—but we will not fail him now. Because as we reflect on the overwhelming support for marriage equality in this country, one inspiring thing about the last few weeks, amidst the wreckage, is that we showed that we as a country have the capacity to treat others as we would be treated; that we do have the collective ability to walk in each other's shoes, that most admirable of all human attributes; and that we can support change which may not narrowly impact on our own lives or marriages but which welcomes, includes and enriches us all.

The government asked an incredibly difficult thing of gay and lesbian people in Australia. It asked Australians to judge whether some of us deserve to love and be loved and to have that recognised like everybody else. It is hard to overstate the hurt that has been inflicted on our brothers and sisters by asking the country to vote on the worth of their relationships.

I'm voting yes for my brilliant friends Chris and Dan, who wrote this about that survey: 'We are very lucky people with nothing to complain about. We have amazing families and friends and have had the good fortune of a great education and careers, yet during the survey campaign there were days when we both felt like outsiders in our own country. We felt at times sad, angry, confused and sometimes all three.' Chris and Dan believe that in resolving this here this week 'it is that new feeling of equality that counts the most. It's knowing that kids growing up today that happen to be gay won't have to worry about being the odd one out anymore'.

The postal survey was unnecessary and divisive, and we now need to come together. We do so having learned a lot more about ourselves, about our ability to walk in each other's shoes, about the capacity for our community to step up and lead when the government fails the community and also about how changes which may seem so far down the track can all of a sudden appear within reach and be achievable.

Many of us fear that as a country we are becoming more polarised and polarising, more insular, more concerned with our own circumstances than the circumstances of others, afraid and intolerant of differences. But this vote shows the opposite. More than six in 10 of us said yes, so many of us with enthusiasm and with pride. That shows that we care about the people around us, that we understand their situation and that we empathise with them, and that gives me great hope and great heart for the future.

I was confident that the 'yes' vote would succeed nationally, but, if I'm honest, I underestimated the groundswell of support in my own state and in my own community. Queensland, where I am proud to be from, is in many ways still viewed as a very conservative place. In 1991, we were the last mainland state to decriminalise homosexuality, thanks to our finest Premier, Wayne Goss. As a state we have come so far. We have confounded our critics, with Queenslanders delivering a resounding 'yes' vote of 60.7 per cent, more than New South Wales. In Logan city, the place where I was born, where I grew up, the place I live in and love, I thought it could go either way. But, in my seat of Rankin, I'm so proud to say that three-quarters of people participated and 54.6 per cent of our community voted yes, and there was an even more resounding result next door in Forde. I'll be proudly representing them when I cast my 'yes' vote on their behalf in this place this week.

My community and so many other electorates around the country have overwhelmingly voted for compassion, for fairness and for equality. They stepped up when the parliament failed to deliver the resolution that so many on this side of the House and other friends have been pushing for for so long and for too long. And we know that this progress is being made despite the Prime Minister and not because of him.

I'm voting yes because it is not for us to determine where love begins and ends. When I asked my wife to marry me, I didn't survey millions of people. I never had to worry about fundamental questions like: could we marry, and how would society judge our relationship? We got married in Byron Bay, a cherished place, a sentimental place not far from our home. We didn't have to leave our own country to have our vows recognised.

On our wedding day, Penny Wong was there with Sophie, and Penny and Sophie had to sit through that formal part of the ceremony that many people here are familiar with that limits weddings to being between a man and a woman. Chris was there as well. I've mentioned Chris already. It was before Dan was a part of our scene. Chris described that part of an otherwise happy wedding as 'a seed of sadness', in his words, which 'makes gay people feel like they are the odd ones out'.

My stepbrother, Shannon, is a total legend, a great mate of mine. He was there too of course on that on that wedding day, and he describes that part of the ceremony as being 'that stab in our hearts'. He and his partner, James, have been together for two years now, ever since they met for a quiet beer on a Saturday afternoon like countless other couples have throughout time. I'm voting yes for Shannon and for James. What our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters are asking for in this bill is not actually that much to ask. It's certainly not too much to ask. It's the very least that we can do.

I finish by reflecting on the words of a very talented and charismatic mate of ours called John who worked with us here in this building for a long time but who now lives overseas and who has been closely watching and celebrating our progress from afar. He reckons this debate has been about more than marriage equality. It's about addressing the dread that many young gay people feel that something is wrong with them and addressing the feelings of shame and self-hatred that accompany coming out. John wrote over the weekend:

'To me, the greatest significance of this recent vote and this legislation is not that anyone in Australia will now be able to marry whomever they love—though that is indeed an act of electrifying power and something that my friends and I celebrate with happy hearts. The greatest significance is in the affirmation that we are all equal, that we are all worthy of love and respect, that we are all valued and accepted. It is in knowing that the entire nation has said to the young person struggling with being different that 'There is nothing wrong with you; you are as important and as human and as Australian as the rest of us.' It is in knowing that, when I arrive in Australia this month for Christmas with my family, the country I have always loved loves me back.'

I'm voting 'yes' for John; for Brian, Andrew, Shannon, James, Chris and Dan; for Penny and Sophie; for gay and lesbian Australians I know, work with and represent; and for those I've never met, who are no less Australian, no less deserving of the right to have their love recognised like the rest of us have been fortunate to have ours recognised. I say to all of them and to all of us the same thing that I have been signing off to emails back to hundreds, if not thousands, of people who have written to me in the past few weeks: 'We are nearly there. Let's get this done.'

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