Cathy O'Toole (Herbert, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Hansard source

I too thank the member for Canberra for moving this very important motion on pregnancy and infant loss. Firstly, I want to acknowledge the parents and families who have lost a child or children in pregnancy, infancy or at birth. I acknowledge your loss in this place and pay my respects and sympathy to you and your families. I also acknowledge First Nations women and their families whose babies were taken from them and, in many cases, they never saw these children again.

This is an issue that is very close to my heart. The loss of a child at any stage of pregnancy or infancy or at birth is unbelievably painful for the parents, other children, extended family and close friends. I am sure that there is not a day that goes by that we do not think about the children or child that we have lost. Far too many families grieve in silence, and that was my experience. It was not because I did not have a family that was very supportive around me. In those days, losing a baby during pregnancy was really not discussed or even thought of. In fact, I doubt that I have ever properly grieved for the baby that I lost in pregnancy, because there was no opportunity to do so. Life simply went on. I came home from hospital, had a day off and went back to work. I am talking about 34 years ago, but that does not mean that I don't often think about the child. I wonder whether it was a boy or a girl and what he or she would have looked like. So opportunities like today, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, are very important and are welcome in our communities. It is very pleasing to see that times have evolved and the loss of a child is now talked about openly and we 'Walk to Remember'.

In October 1988 President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the month of October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in the United States. The former President made a very poignant point when he stated:

When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents loses their child, there isn't a word to describe them.

International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day allows parents, families and communities to officially stop, remember and come together. Each family's experience is unique, because, as human beings, we are all very unique. In a society where we have expanded lines of communication from carrier pigeon to the multiple modes of Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, emails, text messages and mobile phones, in all of these communication methods we have somehow lost the art of actually personally reaching out.

I remember attending the Sands Walk to Remember in Townsville for the first time and being hit by emotions that had been deeply buried. Yes, life does go on and, yes, we did already have two other healthy, beautiful children, and in time we had another healthy child, but we also lost a child that we knew absolutely nothing about. The only time our third child was referred to was when I fell pregnant with our last child and I was asked how many pregnancies I had had. Thankfully, as I said, in today's world we talk much more openly and we hold our memories in our hearts. The love that we have for our lost babies will live forever in our hearts.

Yesterday I, along with many other parents and families, attended the Sands Australia remembrance walk in Townsville. I congratulate Linda Adams, who brought Sands to Townsville in 2006 and has dedicated a huge amount of time to Sands in our community. Marie Dueble, Loretta and Janice coordinated the ceremony with the help of a wonderful team of volunteers.

This ceremony provided a healing experience for the parents, siblings, families and close friends who attended. It helps us heal by seeing we are not alone. It helps us heal by talking to each other. It helps us heal by providing support and guidance, and, importantly, it helps us remember the loved ones that we have lost. I want to thank Sands Australia for the tremendous work that they do and continue to do for other parents just like my husband and me.

I commend Labor for its announcement on the weekend. We will invest in research to assist in reducing the number of babies that are lost in infancy, at birth or in pregnancy. In 2018 we certainly should not be losing the children that we are currently losing. It is a journey that you would not wish on any person. I am very pleased, I must say, after 34 years, to be with people who are speaking very openly about their experiences and are supporting each other.

See this speech in context