Bridget Archer (Bass, Liberal Party) Share this | Hansard source

Beyond all the statistics of pregnancy and infant loss are parents, siblings, grandparents and other loved ones who are grieving the loss of a child. This heartbreak is often private and understandably so. But it's heartening to see the increasing number of parents who are willing to talk about their experiences, in the hopes that others do not feel so alone when navigating their way through a similar experience. Recently I was contacted by northern Tasmanian woman Collette Butler, who reached out to me seeking support for an event to be held in late October to raise funds and awareness of pregnancy loss. Collette's desire to support families going through pregnancy loss is a result of losing her own daughter, Amelia, in 2020. I have asked Collette for permission to share her story, in her own words, today because, as Collette has said, all babies have a birth story and deserve to be shared with the world. She says:

On May the 26th 2020 I woke at 2am in spontaneous labour at 38weeks gestation with my first pregnancy. A pregnancy that was uncomplicated and problem free.

After arriving at the hospital my baby was found to be in the breech position which was not detected throughout my pregnancy. An emergency caesarean was called. Moments later the fetal heart rate began to drop to an alarming level. A Code blue was called. I was rushed to the theatre - my husband was taken back to the maternity ward to wait as I was put under a general anaesthetic.

At 5.50am Amelia Maree Butler was born still.

What felt like moments later I woke in the recovery room, my husband at the end of the bed & hospital staff around me. I remember looking at a nurse - asking "where is my baby". The next words changed my life forever.. "She didn't make it".

Whilst under the anaesthetic an amazing team of obstetricians, nurses & paediatricians delivered my baby girl but it was already too late. Amelia was born with her umbilical cord around her neck. The very thing that fed her life during my pregnancy, took her life. Even with CPR & intervention, Amelia was gone.

Nathan & I returned to the maternity ward - a ward that I had previously worked on as a Midwife. We were taken into a birth room I knew very well was the baby loss room. A space that women were admitted to when their babies had not survived. Amelia was waiting for us. She was perfect. Beautiful. A head of dark brown soft, silk like hair. 10 fingers, 10 toes. A perfect baby that I held in my arms, was lifeless. Nathan & I were fortunate to have the beautiful Sheridan from Heartfelt photography capture a few precious moments that would be for a life time. With the support of the wonderful midwives, we bathed Amelia, dressed her, held her - knowing too well we would have to say goodbye & I would never hold her in my arms again.

The next few days followed as such.

Instead of learning how to breastfeed my baby, - my family & I planned a funeral.

Instead of leaving the hospital with Amelia, we left with empty arms to return home to an empty nursery.

A nursery full of baby clothes, nappies, toys that would never be used by Amelia.

A private funeral was held with just Nathan & I. We stood together, watching as a very tiny coffin was lowered into the ground.

The months to follow we were faced with running into people - seeing their faces, having to explain why our baby was gone. Nights I cried myself to sleep with an empty bassinet next to me.

I was faced with returning to the hospital not just as a patient but also as a nurse. I struggled for months (still do) any time I heard a code blue, walking down certain corridors, or collecting a patient from the recovery room.

Now two & half years on I still remember that day clearly. I still cry, I still feel an emptiness I don't think will ever leave me. I imagine each day what Amelia would be like & picture the little girl she would have grown into.

Since Amelia, my husband & I have tried to give Amelia a sibling. We have since experienced 3 miscarriages. We have undergone many investigations and tests.

4 babies keeping each other company while Nathan & I learn to live without them.

Prior to my own baby loss I worked on a surgical ward as a nurse & had a portfolio & a passion in Pregnancy Loss. In this ward we cared for many families experiencing early pregnancy loss. It was my passion to make their experience as supported as possible. I strived for changes at a ward level to improve their care.

Now having experienced multiple losses myself & connecting with many others that have I am beginning to realise how common baby loss is & how little we talk about it.

I love to talk about Amelia & my little ones. For me it is a way of keeping her spirit alive.

See this speech in context