Rob Mitchell (McEwen, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Link to this | Hansard source

Although there is not that much love shared across the chamber, I managed to discover a love letter from the Liberal Party to the Australian Tobacco Lobby. It says: 'Dear big tobacco, how burning is my love for you. Let me tell you why. I love you to the depth of your pockets, because what is yours only we share. I love you for your donations, so Liberal seats don't go on extended vacations. I love you for your profits as it robs taxpayer hip pockets. I love how you make $31.5 billion dollars of taxpayers' money go up in smoke, as it makes adding up the numbers easier for our bumbling shadow Treasury folk. I love you for your strength, for huffing and puffing and your earnest game of bluffing. The government is trying to get in our way, but forever in my heart you will stay. I will not pack you up, or put you away. I will never give you up or leave you cold turkey. Yours forever, because I can't afford to quit you, the federal Liberal Party of Australia.'