Ursula Stephens (NSW, Australian Labor Party, Shadow Parliamentary Secretary to the Leader of the Opposition (Social and Community Affairs)) Share this | Hansard source

For the completeness of the record, I seek leave to incorporate ‘A farewell to the Hon. Paul Calvert, whose carnival is over this week’.

Leave granted.

The speech read as follows—

A farewell to the Hon Paul Calvert whose Carnival is over this week.

Well, farewell Paul Henry Calvert As we say our last goodbyes And consider when we lose you Fergie’s sure to take a rise

Like a drum, your beat’s been steady From the day you first arrived. Two whole decades in the Senate- And how well you have survived!

It’s a long way from the farm-gates To this big house on the hill But you showed us how in parliament You could use your farming skill:

Inquiring into Animal Welfare Your experience made you wise; Some folks tried, but failed completely To pull the wool over your eyes.

Like a drum, your beat was steady As you steered the senate ship. And your knowledge from the paddocks Taught you how to wield the Whip!

Your expertise on WhistleblowingWas made clear for all to see. And you pruned five senate departments To a neat and tidy three.

When you examined Intelligence Services You didn’t need to rely on a hunch: As an orchardist you’d learned to pick The one bad apple that spoiled the bunch;

Like a drum of fertilizer You’ve helped young roosters reach their goals Grooming ministers in waiting Making sure they keep their souls!

Not at all a simple home boy You have travelled near and far! Sampling Guinness, eels and roll mops Blue fromage and caviar.

Have you dined on shark and sushi? Did you try Mongolian yak? Lithuania and Estonia Russia, Turkey, France and back

Now your home state lights are calling And it’s time to say farewell. What you’ll do in your retirement Only Jill and kids can tell.

High above the dawn is breaking Over Tassie Fields of green Where we wish you a long life That’s contented and serene

(With apologies to The Seekers)