David Feeney (Victoria, Australian Labor Party, Parliamentary Secretary for Defence) Share this | Hansard source

(Victoria—) (): The incorporated speech read as follows—

Madam Acting Deputy President, I rise tonight to say a few words concerning the retiring Senator Minchin.

I was delighted to find myself elected to the Senate at a time when Senator Minchin served here. He is one of the great characters of this place. Senator Minchin's reputation with his ALP counterparts is, as one would expect, a mixture of dread and respect. You might say that he is regarded in the same way that Darth Vader is regarded by the Rebel Alliance: a heady cocktail of respect and fear.

I have always regarded former party officials as being a higher calibre of political animal; people who are steeped in the values and traditions of their party, people of organisational skill motivated by political conviction; people for whom the words loyalty and discipline still matter a great deal. Although always reliable ideological protagonists, party officials from all sides nonetheless typically share a mutual understanding—an understanding built on shared trials and challenges. Senator Minchin is an exemplar of the type.

It was my privilege to participate in a delegation to Taiwan in 2009, and I travelled with my wife, Ms Liberty Sanger. Senator Minchin travelled with his wife, Mrs Kerry Minchin.

What a formidable combination they are! I quickly realised that while Senator Minchin is an army of one, when combined with Kerry he is a veritable movement! If the stature of a man can in any way be judged by the qualities of his spouse, then Senator Minchin is a giant of a man.

But I also discovered in Taiwan that Senator Minchin is a 'full spectrum warrior'. While there, Nick and Kerry Minchin succeeded in charming my wife, and beguiling her into a foul conspiracy—the aptly named 'China Study'.

This China Study is the tome that is deployed by evangelical vegetarians to snare the unwary. My wife was targeted by the Minchin Militia, and from Kinmen Island to Taipei, Liberty was steadily converted to the doctrines of vegetarianism.

I should have understood immediately that this Minchin assault on my living standards was a part of a sophisticated Liberal Party PsiOps. And so, despite my protestations to Liberty that 'I love vegetarian food too, it goes well with a good steak', and 'Darling, tobacco is a plant', I soon found myself living in an ever more doctrinaire vegetarian environment.

Senator Minchin, the full spectrum warrior, had diabolically interfered in my household.

And so, as I munched unhappily on carrots, lettuce, brussel sprouts, legumes and pumpkin, and the days became weeks and then months, I knew I had felt the long reach of Senator Minchin.

Senator Minchin is not the most wicked vegetarian to have lived, but he is the one who succeeded in converting my wife, and so he will always be the most wicked to me.

Finally, on a more serious note, I know that Oliver's near tragedy and his courageous recovery have occupied your thoughts and prayers, and those of Kerry. His fellow cadets and the staff at ADFA have been delighted and inspired by Oliver's recovery—a recovery they regard as miraculous. Clearly, he is the formidable scion of formidable parents.

My very best wishes for the future.