John Faulkner (NSW, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Hansard source

This matter of public importance has again demonstrated the fact that Her Majesty's opposition really is just a one-trick pony. All they offer is relentless negativity and carping criticism of the government. And of course the Leader of the Opposition, Mr Abbott, is relentlessly and exclusively negative. I have to say that as each day passes he becomes more extreme, more reckless and more inconsistent in what he says.

I give Mr Abbott great credit for being an absolute expert in rewriting history. He is very good at it. Look at what he said about a carbon tax, or an emissions trading scheme. He said he never supported one. But on Star FM Gippsland on 19 July 2011 he said, 'I mean, that is my position and that has always been my position. But I've never been in favour of a carbon tax or an emissions trading scheme and what the coalition is proposing to do is to take what some people call "no regrets" action.' Well, what about when he supported a tax, like on Sky News on 29 July 2009:

I also think that if you want to put a price on carbon why not just do it with a simple tax.

Or what about when he supported an emissions trading scheme, like on 2UE on 29 November 2009: 'You cannot have a climate change policy without supporting this ETS at this time.' Or on ABC Lateline on 2 October 2009:

We don't want to play games with the planet. So we are taking this issue seriously and we would like to see an ETS.

That is just out of Mr Abbott's own mouth.

But it is an incredible thing that Mr Abbott is so negative he is now even against himself, and that takes some doing. He reckons his own ETS target is crazy, although it depends on who the audience is. For example, on 18 July 2011 on mamamia.com he said:

Both the government and the opposition accept that Australia should reduce our emissions by 5 per cent by 2020.

But, at a seniors forum on the same day he said: 'And the other crazy thing about this is that at the same time that our country is proposing to reduce its emissions by five per cent, just five per cent, the Chinese are proposing to increase their emissions by 500 per cent.' It is a remarkable thing when somebody is so negative that they are even against themselves, and Mr Abbott of course has achieved that.

Those with an interest in the history of cinema might remember Groucho Marx singing Whatever It Is, I'm Against It, which was composed by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby, in that famous 1932 Marx Brothers film, Horse Feathers. It struck me that, if the Liberal Party are looking for a campaign jingle or Mr Abbott would like to have a theme song, there it is: Whatever It Is, I'm Against It from Horse Feathers.

I thought today I might take the opportunity on this matter of public importance to share some of those lyrics with you. Of course, unlike some senators I will not be singing the lyrics!

The first verse is this:

I don’t know what they have to say,

It makes no difference anyway—

Whatever it is, I’m against it!

No matter what it is or who commenced it,

I’m against it.

It is very Mr Abbott, don't you think? The second verse seems as relevant today for Mr Abbott as it was when Kalmar and Ruby penned it 80 years ago. Let me share that with the Senate:

Your proposition may be good

But let’s have one thing understood—

Whatever it is, I’m against it!

And even when you’ve changed it or condensed it,

I’m against it.

Then if you did not like the first two verses there is always the third verse—and you are smiling, Madam Acting Deputy President Coonan, so I assume you did like my rendition of it.